


faceless sense of void

by noneedforgoodsouls



Series: Small black flowers that grow in the sky [1]
Category: Manic Street Preachers, baby manics, james dean bradfield - Fandom, nicky wire - Fandom, richey edwards - Fandom, sean moore - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Science Fiction, Time Travel, scifi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 19:03:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20196553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noneedforgoodsouls/pseuds/noneedforgoodsouls
Summary: A Sci-Fi story involving the Manic Street Preachers in 1991.





	1. 12 hours

\- I hope it fucking works this time -  
You sighed to yourself as you exit a luminous black hole. It should have worked. It must have worked. You start to check your surroundings. Signs in English. Good. At least this time you didn't end up in fucking India like last time. You figured out the coordinates.  
It looks like England in the 60's. You fucked up the date again. It's freezing and the streets look scummy and wet. You hear music from an alley. You gather up your bag and decide to check it out. The machine will need about 12 hours to reset itself up, so why bother. It looks like a back entrance of some sort. There's a guy, having a fag leaning against the wall

  
\- So... What's up? - you say to the stranger.  
\- Ugh. American. - He rolls his eyes  
\- No no... South American. Near Brazil  
He looks at you like an infectious bug. The alley is dark, so you cannot really see his face. He is wearing sunglasses. You take your hoodie off and clear your throat.  
\- Let me start again -  
\- What do you want? - he cuts you off  
\- - Just asking what's happening  
\- It's a gig  
\- Who's playing?  
\- Bands  
\- I know that...  
\- No one you might have heard before.  
\- True..  
\- So we are having this conversation because...

  
You try to think of a new way to approach the stranger. You are out of money, you need to figure out where are you and what year is it. 12 hours to not fuck anything up.

  
\- May I have a smoke?  
\- They're quite expensive, you know?  
\- Here - You start taking off your watch, bluffing.  
\- Don't. Why would I do with a watch? I can't see shit. Here have two and get off my case  
\- Can I get in?  
\- Uhmm...  
\- Dude come on  
\- It's 2quid  
\- I am broke. I'll be alright in 12 hours. I just need some place to stay off the cold.  
\- This will be my one good deed of the month. - He sighs  
\- Cheers.

  
He lets you in but you don't thank him. What a wanker. He is lucky you're cold and hungry. You get in the venue and it smells like beer, sweat and a cheap cologne. You know you're in Great Britain but you're not quite sure where exactly. You start looking around for clues. The flyers are colourful and catches your eye.  
12 - 02 - 91 -  
The black theatre. Cardiff  
Live bands  
Mr. Spectator / Roadkill / Manic Street Preachers.  
2quid  
Yep. Definitely fucked up the date and coordinates. You have been trying to go to London in 1976, ever since you discovered the black hole thingy. But you somehow keep fucking up. The bands don't sound too familiar, so maybe it won't change any timeline if you socialize for a little bit. Just remember to keep yourself alive this time. You go to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. Thank fuck, your make-up made it. You check your wallet. You still have 6 grams of coke and three fags from Colombia. Try to forget about Colombia, you think to yourself. Done, you can totally survive on that. You change into black shorts and a white David Bowie shirt. Put your leather jacket on, and the red bandana you stole from Axl Rose a couple of travels ago. Red lipstick and snort, snort. Here we go.  
You try to spot the most junkie looking guy in there. Surprisingly they all look like junkies. If you can sell a gram for 20 quid you can get shitfaced until the time machine starts working again. That's the goal. Focus and concentrate.

  
\- Oi! - Some guy pats your shoulder - Brazilian!  
\- I am actually Chilean  
\- Where the fuck is that?  
\- In South America. Next to Argentina  
\- Uhhh  
\- Nevermind  
\- So what are you doing in Wales?  
\- Well.. I got this time machine. I wanted to land in London in 1976-1977. You know, to see the whole Punk thing going on. But I fucked up the coordinates and dates, so I ended up here  
The man looks at you like you're crazy and bursts out laughing. Better to tell the truth, since no one will believe you anyway.  
\- Aight Brazilian. About that watch...  
\- I have something better.  
\- Ahhh a laser sword  
You reach in your bag and show him a plastic bag of white powder. He looks surprised and slightly frightened  
\- 2 grams for a night supply of food, drinks and fags  
\- You're lucky we are playing. They pay us with food, drinks and fags  
\- Oh? What's the name of the band?  
\- Manic Street Preachers  
\- Did you think of that name yourself?  
\- It's a long story.  
\- So what's your name, preacher?  
\- James. James Dean Bradfield.  
\- That's original  
\- Don't tell me yours. I like Brazilian  
\- It's Nadia, and I'm actually... nevermind.  
\- Nice to meet you, love

  
He takes your hand and gives it a small kisss. He is very good looking. He is a bit taller than you. Has a 5 o clock shadow. Is wearing a white shirt with a red spraypainted phrase that says "Culture of destruction" and white jeans. He looks toned and he smells of beer and menthols.

  
\- I have to take you to meet the boys. You have to tell them about your time machine. Wait...you're not a terminator, are you?  
\- No James.  
\- A terminator wouldn't trade drugs from the future!  
You sigh at his giggles. He puts his hand on your waist and leads you through a dark hall. He pushes the door and lets you in.  
\- Aight wankers. I made a friend from the future. She is Brazilian. - You elbow him - I am sorry. Nadia from some country named chilli. Pepper or something.  
\- Chile, you uncultured swine - Screams the tall one  
\- Shut the fuck up Nicky boy. Aight Nadia, I am James, The chancellor of the Preacher Reich, The tall lesbian is Nicky; our minister of foreign affairs. The schoolboy over there is my cousin, Sean... our minister of war and economics, and the goth faggot is Richey, our minister of public enlightenment and propaganda.  
\- Why am I the lesbian? - Nicky giggles  
\- Because you like Joni Mitchell, aight?

  
Nicky and James start to wrestle in the middle of the room. You wave at the boys and proceed to sit on the love seat opposite Richey. You try not to stare at the boy. Richey looks about 5'10, is very slim and has pale snow like skin. Big brown eyes, with a lot of eyeliner. His hair is jet black with an overgrown mod haircut. He is wearing a red women's blouse and white jeans. You don't think you have ever seen a more beautiful man than him.

  
\- There's beer over there - Says Sean, while reading a Videogame magazine. He is the most conservative looking of the four. He is wearing white jeans and a black shirt. His hair looks straight and long. He really looks like a choir boy. He looks uninterested in everything happening around him. He is short. About 5'6. He is sitting in the biggest sofa in the room, yet it looks like it is implied that the sofa is his and no one is allowed to sit without his permission.  
\- Thanks  
\- Oi! Nadia. Tell Richey about your time machine. We gotta go sound check  
You give James two fingers up and he blows you an exaggerated kiss. You get up to get a beer from the table. Richey stares at you. You go back to your seat and light up a cigarette. They boys leave the room

  
\- Time traveller, eh?  
\- Long story  
\- Future is a nasty word  
\- I agree  
\- Are you really from the future?  
\- Yep - He smiles  
\- Can you prove it?  
You grab your bag and hand him your Kindle. He studies It like a little boy. His face lights up with the touch screen and you think that maybe you might have made a mistake. You sit next to him and show him your book library.  
\- If something interests you, then all you have to do is touch it and it'll open.  
Richey's eyes widened as he goes through your personal book library. You look at him fascinated as his innocent face.  
\- This... this is amazing - Without taking his face from the screen  
\- Better than carrying 10k books on your back  
\- What's the future like?  
\- I'm not that from that far away.  
\- When  
\- I began doing this in 2007.  
\- Well what is it like in your time?  
\- War, depression, recession, famine, death...  
\- I am not surprised.  
\- It is not that bad.  
\- Is that why you came to the past?  
You stay silent for a minute and look down. You have no idea how long you've been time travelling for. You think you might have said too much. You have no idea why you came to the past. 10 minutes into meeting this stranger, and he already makes you question the choices you've made since you first started using the black hole / time machine thingy.  
\- I fucked up and ended up in Wales  
\- No truer words have ever been spoken  
\- Awww.. It doesn't seem that bad  
\- When I was a little kid, all I wanted to do was leave. I'm not sure where to  
\- Maybe you need to figure out what you're running away from  
\- Despair, maybe.  
\- From despair to where?  
\- Anywhere.... I don't care, I don't care, I don't care - He tries his best to do his Morrissey impression. You both burst out laughing.

  
You might have blown your cover. Is this is your way of flirting now? Telling everyone the truth and get killed like last time. REMEMBER COLOMBIA. There is something about this Richard that completely disarms you. Must be his big brown eyes. You must have been time travelling for years now. Yet, you have not seen someone as beautiful as that boy sitting there.

  
\- You really are telling the truth.  
\- Just don't tell anybody  
\- But you did tell James  
\- He doesn't seem the type to believe me  
\- He is one of my best friends, but he is not the smartest person  
\- And you are?  
\- I have been told so  
\- Are you friends with the band, then?  
\- I am in the band.  
\- Why didn't you go sound check?  
\- I cannot play a chord to save my life. I write the lyrics and jump back and forth on stage. I dislike my guitar intensely  
\- Why do you play guitar, then?  
\- People do crazy things out of boredom  
He clears his throat, and you sip from your bottle. He clearly was distraught in that last comment.  
\- Have you heard our band in the future?  
\- Not really  
\- James is gonna be furious.  
\- I didn't stay around to discover new music. Perhaps The Manic Street Preachers are a mega band, and I hadn't find out. I am a 17-year-old third world girl after all.  
\- With a time machine  
\- Someday I'll tell you more  
\- I can't wait

  
He smiles coyly as he says he cannot wait to hear more of your story. To be the lyricist of a band, he seems incredibly quiet and shy. He seems to be slightly drunk. We hear many voices approaching. Richey's frown has come back, as he lights a cigarrete.

  
\- I told ya the sound lad is clueless - Scoffs James  
\- We can't afford a good one - Nicky sighs  
\- If you both apes, can't fix it, why talk shit to the one person with the right qualification to fix the sound? - Sean says angrily  
\- We'll manage, Mooro - says Nicky hugging him  
\- Easy for you to say, since you're the bassplayer, nobody cares what you do - Scoffs Sean  
\- And you should eat a cock, Mooro  
\- Now now, don't play so rough, someone is gonna end up crying  
\- Shut the fuck up, Jim - Says Sean  
\- Ahhh trouble in paradise, eh? - Asks Richey  
\- Fucking sound twat is clueless  
\- The fuck does that mean? - Richey asks  
\- That we are most likely gonna sound like shit - Instructs James  
\- Won't be the first time  
\- I know this guy in Cardiff who could probably help us out for tomorrow's gig. He's a sound engineer.  
\- Why didn't you say anything before, Rech?  
\- I didn't know before.  
\- Maybe Richey should go to soundcheck with y'all. - You pipe in without thinking.  
\- Ahh the angel of death has spoken...- Mocks James  
\- Sorry - You quickly sip on your beer and look at the ceiling  
\- Yeah man. The terminator bird is right. Richey has to get used to his guitar. It's been a year already. - Nick agrees  
\- From now on, I'll help Richey with his guitar tuning and pedals. Next month, you're on your own, Teddy boy. - Sean gives him a warm pat on the back  
\- Cheers. Another thing to stress about - Scoffs Richey  
\- You'll be fine - You look at Richey while you rest your hand on his. - Now hide the kindle or you're gonna blow my cover - You whisper into his ear.

He happily squeezes your hand and discretely puts it on his backpack. He giggles like a small child with a secret.  
James looks at your legs, then your face, he bites his lip. He notices how close you are getting to Richey, for what he takes the bag out of his pocket and pours the coke on the table between Richey's chair and my loveseat.

  
\- What a Rock star, you are James Dean - Mocks Nick  
\- It's no sleeping time tonight, lads.- James winks at you  
Richey looks at you confused. You look at him apologizing. You're not really sure what for.  
\- We haven't been able to get fucked up in months - Argues James  
\- We got fucked up yesterday - Nicky laughs  
\- And last week in London - Richey recalls  
\- We cannot afford getting fucked up all the time, James - Sean adds  
\- Jesus fucking Christ, Sean. You sound like a fucking accountant.  
\- It is true, though  
\- Well, tonight, it's Motley Crue meets Tom fucking Jones, cariads!  
\- Twat hasn't even snorted yet and he's channeling Iggy Pop.- Spats, Nicky  
They all laugh as James snorts a line and passes the pound note to you. Richey studies your moves. You get up and lean towards Richey, mouthing the words "do-not-say-anything" and you snort two lines. Richey smiles and agrees. It's his turn to get a few lines up. Nick and Sean pass.


	2. 10 hours

You position yourself in front of the stage, right in front of Richey. The boys are headlining apparently. You hear a commotion storming through the main door. About 20 people all dressed up in animal print, heavy eyeliner, hairspray and feather boas. They look expectant. They are their fans, maybe? You seem so confused as to why you hadn't heard them before in the future. A small band drawing these many people in the beginning, should be at least, a footnote in some music journal.  
\- OI! RICHEY, ARE YOU PLUGGED IN THIS TIME?  
Some guy shouts from the back. Richey embarrassingly looks down biting his nails. James and Nicky take off their instruments and jump into the crowd searching to the guy who shouted that. Richey looks uncomfortable at Sean, for which he immediately stands up facing him and putting his hand on his back. Everybody cheers as Nicky and James make their way back to the stage.  
\- A lot of fucking pussies tonight, I guess – Says James onto the microphone  
\- And not the good kind – Nicky giggles.  
You had never seen such comradery in a band. You thought you knew they were friends; however, the bond seems stronger than that. It's so strange that without hesitation, they jumped to murder whoever was bad mouthing their friend, especially after all the swearing and tongue in cheek jokes happening backstage. You cannot hide your big smile and cannot wait until they start playing.  
\- This is from the next single. Generation Terrorists  
James strums his guitar, and you quickly recognize that he's the lead guitarist and singer, which is strange. It's usually the other guy playing lead, while the singer plays rythym guitar to make things easy on the frontman. Now you understand the comment from the shouting asshole. Richey was not very good at playing guitar. He looked the part though. You can say with confidence that Richey was indeed, plugged in that night.  
"Find your faith in your security, all broken up at seventeen .Jam your brain with broken heroes .Love your masks and adore your failure. We're a mess of eyeliner and spraypaint. D.I.Y. destruction on Chanel chic. Deny your culture of consumption. This is a culture of destruction"  
Holy shit – You say out loud.  
You cannot believe that the shy boy who was so scared of making eye contact would write such intelligent and great lyrics. They sound so great that you cannot believe your eyes. These men deserve the spotlight. They're like the Welsh Clash. Even better than The Clash. Joe Strummer wished he would write lyrics like that.  
" Don't wanna see your face. Don't wanna hear your words ....Why don't you just ----"  
A guitar squeal and you can hear the crowd shouting, at the top of their lungs "FUCK OFF". The crowd is in it and you cannot believe your luck seeing this very moment, in which time and space does not matter that much. You found life purpose right there. In some shitty pub in Cardiff, seeing and feeling the energy that these 4 boys eradiate. Richey looks happy as he jumps back and forth on stage. He looks like a statue coming to life. If the universe allowed you to time travel, it blessed Richey with an enormous intelligence and beauty. The band is synergy on stage, and you feel everything. You feel like crying, laughing, shouting, all at once. You had seen many bands. But nothing like this. You lean towards Richey and he looks at you while he plays. You look down at the little setlist paper. Right now they're on their 4th song.  
\- I need some help around here, please – Says Nicky onto the microphone. The sound engineer is ignoring him – Fuck you too, mate - He resigns.  
People laugh and they keep on playing. It's a real privilege to see the boys play and enjoy themselves. You see Richey smiling and hopping on the stage, occasionally serving as back-up vocals. You wonder what he'd sound like by himself. By the 7th song, sound goes to shit and they stop playing while scratching their heads.  
\- Oi! Mate, for the love of sweet Jesus, fix the sound. I'll suck your tiny cock off. I promise  
\- Hell, I'll do it too – James joins in.  
A guy in black sweater gets quickly on stage and starts to mingle some wires while James and Nicky stand in looking at him working. Richey looks at you and gets closer. He is mimicking fixing his pedals  
\- What's wrong? – I ask  
\- How the fuck should I know? – He giggles and sips on his beer - Stay after the gig - He asks  
\- I am not going anywhere - you say  
He gets up happily and talks to James.  
\- Sorry babes – Apologizes James  
\- These are the last two. We promise  
\- This one is called "Faceless sense of void" Cheers, Rech  
He grins from ear to ear. They boys start playing but you can tell the sound is really fucking things up. By the middle of the song, Richey gives up and stumbles on the floor looking at James, you, and all around him. He looks like an infant who'd just discovered sound. His guitar was useless, no sound was coming from the speakers. You take out your phone as he studies your moves, and you start snapping pictures. He quickly gets up, and starts mimicking his guitar playing.  
"We blur into images of state coercion. Classified machines die misunderstood. City reflections pour out misery. We don't count 'cos we hate.  
Rain down alienation, leave this country. Despair seeps through and cuts our eyes. Unified collapse of everything inside. We understand but can't accept  
You are not dead 'cos we hate"  
When the song ends, you hear Richey tell James that he cannot hear his guitar. He tells him to bear one more song and they'll be out of there.  
\- I am not a fucking puppet – You hear through the noise.  
He gets up resigned and continues mimicking, until James' guitar straps gets undone and his guitar falls. He is not quick enough to fix it, sing and play his instrument at the same time. Therefore, James picks up the microphone and starts singing with just the bass and drums sound.  
"Repeat after me, Fuck queen and country. Repeat after me. Death sentence heritage. Death camp palace. Useless generations. Dumb flag scum"  
You can see the frustration in Richey's eyes, so he takes off his guitar and smashes it onto the ground. He leaves the stage. The rest of the band stays for a while until Sean leaves too.  
\- Hope you all enjoyed the freak show – Sentences James  
\- Buy our fucking EP, you fucking plastic cunts.  
And the rest of the band storms off


	3. 9 hours

After seeing the Manic Street Preachers live, you wonder why you hadn't heard of them before. They seem like normal kids, but once they go on stage, they remind you of great bands like The Clash, or even The Rolling Stones. Sean and James are excellent musicians; Nicky has an omnipresent stage persona, which makes it hard to take your eyes off him. And Richey...with his big brown eyes, he is the enigmatic lyrical genius. His title of minister of enlightenment and propaganda fits him perfectly.  
You go to the bathroom to get some lines sorted. Channel 1. Snort. Channel 2. Snort. You fix your hair and go to the bar to buy something stronger. You settle with rum and coke. You look at the people leaving the gig. Some of them are praising the band, and others are just crucifying them. At least they are all talking and no one was indifferent to what they had just seen.  
You walk back to the front of the stage. You try to comprehend what the fuck you just witnessed. You inhale a long drag from your cigarrete and stare at the microphone as the lads start to gather up their instruments to take them backstage.  
\- Brazilian! – shouts James, from behind the stage.  
\- You guys were just...  
\- I know, I know – he cuts me off with a cocky grin.  
\- You guys are gonna be huge  
\- Oh I know  
\- I'm gonna need that EP.  
\- I have loads of them in my hotel room  
\- Fuck off.  
\- I was joking – Pause - We can't afford a hotel room. We are squatting at this guy's house. His name is Ewan. He plays bass in Roadkill. He's throwing a party tonight, if you want to join  
\- Are you asking me out, Mr. James?  
He smiles and grabs your hand to pull you up to the stage with him. His hands around your waist, your noses are dangerously close, as you can smell his breath. He looks into your eyes and smiles.  
\- As if... - He giggles and picks up his guitar  
\- Wanker – You scoff under your breath  
\- What? Richey? Yeah...he told me to ask you to come over.  
\- He did?  
\- Yeah. He is not very good with one on one conversations. He is a sick fuck on the paper though  
\- What happened to his guitar? – you ask while you carry Richey's amp.  
\- The guitar he smashed was borrowed from the sound guy – He laughs. – Motherfucker had it coming.  
You all laugh as you make your way backstage. Sean is sitting on the loveseat with some brunette talking about Sega consoles. You wonder what the fuck is Sega. But you don't think to ask. Nicky is in the bathroom, and Richey stops reading your kindle to help you carry his amp.  
\- OH you shouldn't have – He apologizes  
\- It's just amp. It's okay – You reassure him, resting the amp next to his chair  
\- James always carries all the instruments back here, so we never bother  
\- Yeah and that is why I'm the ripped motherfucker getting the most laid.  
\- You'll catch something  
\- Definitely not manners – Sean pipes in  
You laugh and sit down on the floor, next to the chair Richey was previously sitting on. He looks down on you and offers you the chair  
\- I like the floor better  
\- Me too  
He sits next to you, legs crossed with a can as an ashtray. His eyes look dark as his eyeliner seems to have smudged with sweat and heat. He gets closer to your ear and whispers  
\- I need to hear more  
\- I can show you if you want  
He retreats his gaze and smiles. Nicky suddenly bursts out from the toilet with only a towel wrapped in his head and some boxer shorts.  
\- Hey, this shithole has hot water, so you should all jump in. – Nicky smiles from ear to ear.  
He has the biggest smile I'd ever seen. Richey quickly jumps up, takes your hand, and leads you to the bathroom. You silently follow, as all his mates start to cheer on him. Except James, whom looks annoyed. Richey, perhaps, doesn't have the best of luck with girls. Your heart pounds with excitement. He sits on the toilet, legs crossed, facing the wall  
\- I thought you would want a hot shower after doing all that time travelling.  
\- Oh...Thank you – You sound disappointed.  
\- What's wrong?  
\- Nothing. You're too kind.  
\- I am not looking so you can take a shower. I'll stay here while you tell me more about where you come from. I couldn't wait  
\- Well... do you have any questions?  
\- Where have you gone before?  
You get on the tub and start undressing. Richey kindly offer his arm so you can put your clothes on it. You notice cigarette burns all over his arm. You don't say anything. The water starts running. He was right, I did need a hot shower.  
\- Last time I fucked up, I ended up in Paris during the French Revolution. Since I was there, I thought I'd meet the Marquis De Sade. Sadly, I don't speak French that well so that didn't work out.  
\- Why didn't you stay?  
\- There was...- you stay silent for a few seconds to try to recollect the awful things you saw. – An execution ... - You cannot find the words to complete the sentence.  
\- It's okay, I am sorry – he apologizes  
\- Sometimes you forget human beings are capable of such things  
\- Kind of makes you wish you could go back to being a kid  
\- Were you a happy kid, Richard?  
\- Yes! Which is the worst thing to have when you reach puberty  
\- How come? – The water stops as you've rinsed your body. Richey diligently hands you the towel and then your bag pack  
\- Well you have this idea of how the world is. And how everyone should love and help each other and realize it's pure bollocks. Everybody is out for themselves out there and no one cares. IT's heartbreaking when you are an adult  
\- That's true  
\- Were you a happy child, Nadia?  
\- Not at all. My mom was 17 when she had me. She abandoned me when I was 5.  
\- I am sorry about that  
\- It's all good! – You smile as you open the shower curtain. Richey looks at you from head to toe. You wish that alongside a time machine, you could get a mind reader also. - You can't miss something you never had!  
\- You're right. – He gets up and you are in front of each other. Your bodies are touching, as he walks to the tub. He is so reluctant to make eye contact that you are aching for him to look at you. His body touching yours burns your skin. You start thinking that maybe he is not into girls. OR maybe he is not that into you as you thought– I love how you look at things  
\- No need to dwell on things you cannot change  
\- You could change them  
\- It's not as easy as you think.  
\- Have you regretted anything?  
\- Any fool can regret yesterday, you know.  
The water stops and I hand him his backpack. You put make up on and when you're done you start making 4 lines. You snort again, and as Richey steps out of the shower, you hand him the pound note. He thanks you and snorts.  
\- Maybe you'll regret meeting me  
\- Don't be silly.  
You open the bathroom door and feel his warm hand on your back  
\- Well... that was fast, Richey-boy – Scoffs Nicky  
\- I was trying to mimic your performance last night – he snaps back  
Richey sits down with a huge smile on his face and both hands behind his neck. James looks annoyed or with a headache. He didn't say anything and just stormed inside the bathroom. A few laughs were coming through the corridor. Three girls in an obscene amount of hairspray and animal print were smiling and giggling at the door. Nicky gestures for them to come in. They seem like groupies but I could be wrong. They surround Nick, while he gets dressed in front of us. Something tells me he has done this before. Sean keeps talking to the brunette, only this time, the topic has changed into music. And How the Stones are better than the Beatles. While you look at all of this going on around you, you get close to Richey's neck and whisper.  
\- Keep the Kindle, so you can remember me.  
\- I'll never forget you  
He whispers back as you put the charger on his carrier bag. You fucked up. You fucked up big time. His eyes are gonna be the end of you.


	4. 8 hours

You all arrive at this 2 storey house on Princess St. It looks like a squat house. The boys in the band look like a gang; they're all wearing white jeans. Sean is wearing a black long sleeve shirt, Nicky a white shirt with black polka dots, James a white shirt with no sleeves, and Richey is wearing a see through black shirt with a leopard print collar. The groupies/fans get out of the taxi first. Jennifer the buck toothed one smells like oranges and has a weird contagious laugh, she has a thing for Nick, you can tell. Cindy looks a lot like Nancy Spungen and she doesn't say much. Maybe she's gonna snap and kill you all, you think to yourself. Rita is Asian and is sporting a sequin black dress, you might borrow it from her later at night. They all enter the house but Richey holds your arm and mouths the word "STAY" almost like a plea. You are freezing but who could say no to those puppy eyes.  
\- It's rather cold here  
\- Here – He opens his leopard coat and you bury your face on his chest, he starts walking towards the backyard. There's a shed and he opens it.  
\- Have you been here before? – I ask while my face is still buried on his chest  
\- Yes. I come here when I need a break from the party. Ewan is a cool kid  
\- We haven't even been to the party yet  
\- Do you want to go?  
\- No... no.  
\- The reason I brought you here is because there are so many things I have to ask you  
\- The future... - You cut him off  
\- Well yeah...Amongst other things.  
\- Quid pro quo, Clarice  
\- Uh?  
\- Oh. Nothing...Just a film that will come up in like two years or something  
\- I'm dumfounded that you talk about the future like that.  
\- Well... if it makes you feel even weirder, At this present time, Somewhere in the Atacama Desert, I'm 7 months old.  
\- Fucking hell... - He lights up two cigarettes, he passes one to me – Have you ever tried to save people? Warn them about tragedies? The holocaust? You mentioned how it's complicated to change things  
\- I did, but you see... The world is about balance. If I prevent the holocaust, something worse will happen and it would alter timelines and it is such a mess to fix them up. That's called "The butterfly effect" in chaos theory  
\- Is there a "chaos theory"?  
\- In the kindle there's a lot information about it. But basically it's like... Take Hitler's assassination attempt. If somehow he had been killed off. The war would had ended sooner, but in other timelines Russians would have taken over since America wasn't involved yet, and our lives would be affected even more so.  
\- You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs  
\- Exactly.  
\- It makes sense.  
\- That's why I try to stay low profile when I land somewhere unexpected, socialize as little as possible  
\- We are socializing now...  
\- It's different here. Everything is different about this place  
\- Like what? - You keep yourself from shouting "YOU!"  
\- The band. Your lyrics. You guys are terrific.  
\- You should come to tomorrow's gig. The venue is a bit bigger  
\- I have to leave in 9 hours, you know...  
\- Can't you stay a little longer?  
\- I have to go – you almost choke up  
\- You sound mature to be 17.  
\- I don't know how old I am anymore. I started travelling in 2007. I think I'm 23 or 24 in "human years" God, I sound like a dog– You both laugh at the thought. – How old are you, Mr. Richard?  
\- I'm 23 in human years also – He laughs  
You bury your face on his chest. He smells like Chanel. He holds you tighter and you stay in silence for a few moments  
\- I really loved your lyrics. You are better than Strummer  
\- Fucking hell... Thank you. There are hundreds of notebooks with scribbles in my room. I write and write because I can't sleep at night  
\- What's keeping you up?  
\- I don't know. I can't seem to shut off my brain. That's why I get pissed at night  
\- Why did you snort coke if you have trouble sleeping?  
\- I don't ever want to sleep now – He looks directly into your eyes. You look away knowing that if you stare any longer, you might fuck things up. Like you always fuck things up with boys. And this one is special. – I do however, want a drink.  
\- How about we go inside for a bit, so the band doesn't think you're ghosting them, and we come back here in half an hour? I am starving!  
\- Sounds good –  
He helps you get up and hugs you tighter. As if he is afraid of letting you go. You walk arm in arm in the house. There are a few sofas, and about 20 people in the house. There are people dancing, talking and laughing. Sean is making out with the brunette, Nicky is talking to a lot of people, laughing with a beer in his hand. You don't see James.Richey goes to the kitchen to get some drinks. You feel an arm pulling you to the hall  
\- So getting acquainted with little Richard, eh? – Whispers James  
\- He is alright. Why?  
\- I let you in to the gig for free, you get fags and booze and you end up shagging my best mate  
\- We haven't fucked  
\- You will  
\- What business is it of you if we do, though?  
\- Well... - He leans towards you with an arm resting on the wall – I was thinking that maybe you and I could get to know each other a little bit  
\- You see... I am flattered. If this had been another kind of night, I would have been riding your welsh cock for the third time by now. However, I am in the mood of talking, and Richey is an excellent talker.  
\- You have stolen my heart, Nadia... As well as another prominent Welsh colony south of the Equator – You kiss him on the tip of his nose and start walking away  
\- Goodbye, James Dean.  
\- You fucking tease – He laughs  
Goddamn, That James is hot. Some Siouxsie and The Banshees start to play and you start dancing alone in the middle of living room, Jennifer joins in and you both start dancing and singing the lyrics to "The passenger" to the amusement of everyone. You can see Richey smiling from the kitchen.  
\- So I guess Richey is going home with you tonight  
\- Oh I don't know – you giggle  
\- He never goes home with anyone. The girls and I think he is in love with Nicky, since he doesn't seem to like girls  
\- Is that so?  
\- Did you kiss him?  
\- No, we're just talking  
\- I've heard he's a virgin  
\- Nothing wrong with that  
\- Do you fancy him?  
\- He is beautiful  
\- I wouldn't go that far  
\- Are you friends with the band?  
\- I am friends with Nicky from college and I became a fan of the band. Maybe tonight will be my lucky night  
\- Are you trying to get off with Nick?  
\- Been trying since college.  
\- You look lovely tonight, he is an idiot if he doesn't  
\- Oh thank you. You're too kind. What's your name, by the way?  
\- I am Nadia.  
\- Jennifer, call me Jenny. You sound foreign  
\- I'm from South America.  
\- That's exotic. I can tell why Richey looks smitten with you  
\- Does he?  
\- Mmmhmm. I've been hanging around them for 2 years, I've never seen him so interested in anyone  
\- That's interesting to know. Ohh shh – you try to act normal and prompt Jenny to be quiet as you see Richey approaching you both  
\- I brought you a chicken sandwich and some orange juice. I had to say it was for vodka, in case anyone asks. – Jenny pinches your arm as she slowly moves to dance with her friends to uncover the gossip.  
\- Oh wow. I do not know what to say. Thank you so much  
\- Don't mention it. I'll carry it for you – He starts walking and you follow him to a room. You notice that he has a bottle of vodka on his right hand. You are getting shit faced tonight and nothing can change that.  
\- This is the room I share with Nicky, every time we play in Cardiff  
\- You're not from here then, are you?  
\- No. South Wales. A little town called Blackwood.  
\- I haven't heard of it.  
\- Why would you? It's just rubble and shit.  
\- I like ruins – You try to lighten up the conversation. He thanks you with his gaze. You start munching on your sandwich while sitting on the floor  
\- Come here – you say and he sits on the floor next to you – I have a little surprise for you. Tell me your favourite band.  
\- I like Echo and The Bunnymen – You start typing on your phone. While the first chords of "The killing moon" starts playing.  
\- How did you do that?  
\- That's technology  
\- Take me with you  
\- Where?  
\- Anywhere. – you sip from your cup and stare at him.  
\- This can be addictive you know  
\- I don't care  
\- What about your band?  
\- They'll manage. You saw I can't play for shit  
\- Your lyrics are the soul of the band  
\- I don't know about that  
\- You are what's gonna push them to stardom  
\- Seems boring. I want knowledge  
\- You remember about altering timelines, right? You guys can be the next Beatles  
\- Fuck the Beatles  
\- Promise me, that no matters what happens tonight, you won't say a word about all of this  
\- I promise.  
He stays silent, and looks down. He takes your hand, and looks straight to your eyes. Almost pleading.  
\- I can't let you come with me. You are amazing  
\- We should make the most of it, then – He says  
He takes the cup from your hands and slowly puts it on the night table. He positions himself kneeling in front of you and kisses you on the lips. He tastes very sweet. Your tongues start to unravel in your mouths, exploring. You break the kiss and sit on his lap, legs wrapping his back. He holds your waist while kissing your neck, you let out a desperate moan. You take off your shirt and bite his bottom lip, to what he moans louder. He carefully puts his hands under your bum and lifts you to lay on the bed. He takes off his shirt and looks at you for an instant.  
\- You're beautiful – He says  
\- Come here- you plead. While unzipping your shorts.  
He obeys and jumps on the bed. The kisses turn to bites and the caresses to fingers onto skin. Your hands touch his torso and his scars. You don't say anything again. He kisses your breasts, licking and nibbling your hard nipples. You run your fingers through his hair. He slowly makes his way down to your stomach. He reaches to your panties. He starts licking through them. You start breathing heavily. He carefully takes off your panties with his teeth, as you look down at him. God, he's so beautiful, you think to yourself. He kisses your thighs and slowly makes his way to your wet pussy. He starts licking up and down. Like an ice cream. Suddenly, he starts sucking your clit, while slipping one finger inside you. You bite your lip as you stop thinking. His movements become frantic and you feel ready to come. He grabs your bum with both of his hands as he buries his face in your pussy. Eating, licking, sucking.  
\- Richey, baby...I'm gonna come  
He doesn't say anything, just speeds up as you start feeling the release. You feel your entire body convulse, like electric vibrations go through your body. He stay on your pussy, licking everything. You sit up and go straight to his neck, as you unzip his fly. He has been hard this whole time. You feel his hard cock as you put it in your hands. You tell him to stand up and he obeys. Without hesitation, you put his hard cock in your mouth, and start sucking and licking as if your life depended on it. He groans and softly runs his fingers through your hair. You deep throat him as he starts fucking your mouth. He suddenly stops.  
\- What's wrong?  
\- I want to fuck you  
You smile as you lay on the bed, face down, ass up. He puts his finger on your sensitive clit, and his thumb starts rubbing your ass. You feel his body on top of yours as he desperately tries to kiss you. You moan into his mouth. He goes back to bite your ass cheek. He kneels in front of your ass and puts his hard cock inside you. It seems like he fit you all along. He cups your hips and makes you go back and forth, rocking his cock. You can feel he is looking how your ass devours his cock. He is enjoying this. He gives you a soft spank. He pulls your hair. His movements turn fast. He grabs your breasts and he tries to go deeper into you. You can feel he's coming soon. He bites your shoulder as he orgasms. You feel his warmth inside you as he collapses on your back.  
You move next to him and quickly pull the covers up. He is with his eyes closed smiling. He looks like a little boy.  
\- Are you okay? – I ask  
\- I haven't felt this happy before – He confesses.  
\- I didn't know I was that good of a fuck – You giggle  
\- It wasn't just sex. I'd never had sex with someone whom I really liked  
\- Why do it, then?  
\- So people don't think I'm a freak – he says holding my hand  
\- You are not a freak, Richard. – You say kissing his knuckles  
\- Will you marry me?  
Nicky opens the door with Jenny's arms around his neck. He gasps "Fucking hell...sorry love" and shuts the door behind them. You laugh as Richey looks embarrassed.  
\- Just let us know when you're done! – You can hear Nicky and Jenny giggling as their footsteps slowly vanishes.  
You roll around facing Richey. You kiss him on the lips and he holds you close to him.  
\- We just met.  
\- I know that. I just don't want you to go  
\- Okay. Look. I leave tonight, but I'll come back after you have made the record you have always wanted. I cannot take you with me, knowing that you didn't accomplish yourself as an artist. With your mates  
\- Story of my life  
\- What do you mean?  
\- Everyone I've loved or hated always leaves me.  
\- I will come back  
\- Do you promise?  
\- Yes, Richard.


	5. 2 hours

You both fell asleep. You get up and head to the bathroom to take a shower and change clothes. Richey cum's drips from your inner thighs. The hot water runs through your body. You look at the watch. 2 hours to go. You suddenly hear the door opening.  
\- Richey, love, pass me the towel, please  
\- Sure thing, Brazilian.  
You gasp in horror as you hear James' voice. He hands you the towel and he giggle as you cover yourself quickly  
\- What the fuck are you doing here? Get out!  
\- I just needed to take a piss  
\- Pee and fuck off  
\- Now, now Brazilian...manners  
\- James, would you be so kind to pee and leave?  
\- Mmmm I don't know about that now  
He smiles as he locks the door behind him. You wrap the towel around you, you get out of the tub. Since James is blocking the door, you sigh and sit on the toilet seat.  
\- What do you want, James?  
\- What is this "Richey love" bollocks?  
\- Nothing  
\- Did you fuck him?  
\- What do you care?  
\- Nicky said you were in bed with him  
\- So?  
\- About riding my welsh cock...  
\- Fuck off James.  
He sits on the floor, looking at your legs.  
\- You're very beautiful, Nadia.  
\- Thank you. Can I leave now?  
\- He's gonna hurt you  
\- I'm a big girl  
You stand up in front him. His face is directly in front of your thighs. Only a wet towel is separating his face from your crotch.  
\- Can I go now?  
He lifts the towel and grabs your knees and pushes his tongue inside your pussy. You feel weak in the knees as he starts sucking and licking repeatedly. You want to brush him off but you can't. James is an animal and there's no reasoning with him. You start to liking it as you move your hip up and down, fucking his face. He gets up, throws your towel away, bends you over the sink. In front of the mirror. You can see him behind you as he slids his hard cock inside you. He bites your shoulder and he fucks you hard and deep. You look at each other in the mirror. This is so hot. He is so hot. He grabs your breasts and squeezes them. You feel yourself getting very wet, you look back and kiss him hard. You can feel his cock getting harder, as he thrusts even faster.  
\- Fucking hell – He mumbles as he orgasms  
He is breathless, as he tries to catch his breath on your back. He steps back looking at you, while you look down. He zips his fly.  
\- We better keep quiet about this, eh?  
You don't respond. You feel guilty about what you'd just done. You just couldn't help yourself. James is a fucking animal. Raw and pure and you were defenceless in his embrace. He shuts the door as he exits. You step in the shower again and hope the hot water will cleanse your sins.


	6. 1 hour

You enter the room, and see Richey sleeping peacefully. You get dressed and lay next to him. He looks so peaceful. You don't want to leave. You start hesitating wether you should leave him or take him with you. The thought of you fucking James is not gonna make anything better. The band will disband and Richey is gonna hate you. It's not gonna be worth it. You kiss his forehead and exit to the living room. There are people sleeping on the couches and bottles everywhere. You don't see James and that's a relief. You go outside to sit on the porch. You light up a cigarrete and start to think about the possibilities. You look at your watch. 1.15 hours to go. Your head hurts.  
\- You're up early – a friendly voice says  
\- Good morning Nicky – You say  
\- I was making myself a cuppa tea, and I saw you going out, so I thought you'd want one too – He offers the cup and sits next to you. He has a blanket on tops of his head. He accommodates the blanket so it can reach you both.  
\- Are you okay, love? – Nicky asks  
\- I fucked up, Nick – You confess  
\- I know.  
\- Worst part is that I have to go in an hour  
\- You don't have to go, you know  
\- I do.  
\- What about Richey?  
\- Oh God... take care of him?  
\- I will  
\- I can't say much, but I'll come back for him  
\- I'd never seen him interested in a girl before  
\- Are you relieved? – we both giggle  
\- This is gonna hurt him  
\- Please don't tell him anything about James  
\- I won't. but you should.  
\- I will when I come back  
You both stare at the dawn.  
\- I have to go back to the room  
\- Alright, love. Take care  
He gives you the tightest hug you've ever received. You try not to swell up.  
\- Don't tell me you're in love with me too!  
\- Piss off  
He kisses your cheek as you stand up and make your way inside. You enter the room where Richey is still asleep. You go through his backpack and find a notepad and some pens. You clear your throat as you write on the desk.  
"Dear Richard:  
In all my travels, I'd never met anyone as beautiful and intelligent as you. I love you. I love you more than anyone has loved any other human being. And because my love for you is so pure, and intense; I cannot fathom the idea of not allowing you to become the full developed artist you were meant to be. I will come back for you soon.  
Please don't forget about me.  
La tristessa durera toujours.  
Nadia x"  
You finally break down and cry silently. You notice your tears have smudged the letters a bit. At least he'll know you meant it. You lay in front of him and look at him peacefully sleeping. You kiss him on the lips and tell him you love him and you'll see him soon. A black hole appears in the room. You sigh, as you fetch your things and start walking towards it. You stop at last minute and look back at that beautiful boy.  
\- I'll come back. I promise  
You whisper. He cannot hear you. You enter the black hole and disappear into thin air.


End file.
